I trust you Lord

Learning to trust God should be very easy, but it is not. It means submitting every aspect of life to God, because He is the solution to it all. So much going on in my life right now, I just want to go somewhere and cry my eyes out. So stressed out academically, emotionally, financially, but yet I trust Him! Can this be considered a double standard, because I mean one thing, but I am saying the direct opposite? Sometimes I just do not understand why God allows certain things to happen, why disease takes over our bodies until it finishes us, why people die, why people are mean, why father's leave, why homes are broken even when people have good intentions, why we are allowed to hurt. It just does not make sense to me. But I do understand that if things were perfect on Earth, there would be no point for a heaven. Lord thank you for your divine providence, that although this earth and everything in it will pass away because of sin, you have made provision for us to be in a better place, where there will be no sickness, no pain, no hurt, and where we will live with you happily ever after.

Here Is A Piece Of My Heart: "Doing the things I love"

Here Is A Piece Of My Heart: "Doing the things I love": So, I finally started sewing, something I have wanted to do for a VERY long time. Two nights ago I learned to use my sewing machine, learne...

"Doing the things I love"

So, I finally started sewing, something I have wanted to do for a VERY long time.  Two nights ago I learned to use my sewing machine, learned all the different parts, learned how to sew in a straight line, and how to sew using different stitches.  I even made coasters!  Tonight, I went back, and started making a pillow, which I finished at home. It was a major stress reliever! I felt so happy knowing that I made something that I enjoy! In the long run, I plan on decorating our home with things I make myself, such as pillows, curtains, tablecloth, etc, and hopefully start using patterns to make little projects for myself and the future children God will bless me and the hubby with.

Here Is A Piece Of My Heart: "Pray Without Ceasing"

Here Is A Piece Of My Heart: "Pray Without Ceasing": It's been a while since I've written anything, but today while doing my devotion, I stumbled upon something worth writing about. "Today, mak...

"Pray Without Ceasing"

It's been a while since I've written anything, but today while doing my devotion, I stumbled upon something worth writing about. "Today, make yourself a woman of prayer. Instead of turning things over in your mind, turn them over to God in prayer. Instead of worrying about your next decision, ask God to lead the way. Don't limit your prayers to meals or bedtime. Become a woman of constant prayer. God is listening, and He wants to hear from you." I have had so much going on lately, I have been stressed out, can't fall asleep, always have something on my mind. I have done some microwave prayers, but to be honest I have not really given the problems completely to God. That's something I am working on. I think I have control issues. I want to take care of things on my own, solve my own problems, but that's not what God wants. When I am hurt, when I am in the dark and I can't seem to find where the door is, or where a window is, I have God to turn to. He said, "Come to me, all you who are weary, and I will give you rest." How lovely would it be to rest in God? I am letting go, and letting God have His way.  He always seems to find a way to talk to me, and to let me know I don't have to walk this earth alone, I don't have to find solutions to my problems because He is the ONLY solution.

              "Thank you Lord for being my solution. Thank you for answering my prayers (big and small). Thank you for your plans for my future, your plans to "prosper me and not to harm me." Your plans to give me hope and a future." Lord the next few days and months are in your hands. I don't know what to do, I can't see that far into the future to plan things out, but I know its already been taken care, for what I cannot do, what I cannot see, where I cannot go, you can because you are an omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent  God. Thank you Lord for your guidance, your providence, your mercy, and your grace.  Teach me to listen and hear your voice. Help me to follow in the footsteps of Jesus your son. Bless my friends and my family, bless the rest of the day, in Jesus name, Amen."          

To my one and only

God answered all of my prayers of happily ever after
When He gave me you as my soulmate and lifetime partner.
No man has ever come close to loving me the way you do.
Your love is complete, tender, unselfish, sweet, and true.
Only God could have designed and orchestrated
perfect love like the love shared between you and me.

One failed romance after another
When all I wanted and prayed for was forever.
I said no more, tired of playing a game I can't win.
The next man I date will be my husband.
I asked God for patience
and I steadfastly prayed for discernment.
I could not handle another disappointment.

The Lord had to work in and through me
Blind my fleshly eyes so that I could see
beyond the superficial
beyond the imperfections, beyond the physical
Beyond the emotions
To the deepest level of the soul
where true love emanates.
I am so happy it is you, I am so happy you are my soulmate
I was given so many reasons to doubt that such a love could ever be
Until your love came and rescued me.

You have seen my pain, you have seen my wounds
and you have made it your purpose to heal them one by one.
You take me as I am
with all that is fragile, all that is imperfect, all that is broken
and all that is beautiful
and you allow me to be me

God blessed me when He decided that you were the man for me
to by my friend and confidant
to be the reason why I believed in love again.
It was no accident we met years ago, it is no accident that you are the man I love today.
It is no mystery that you are the man for me
The way you pursued me so beautifully!
Only God could have written such an amazing love story
And I will never cease to thank Him for giving you to me.

Written October 21, 2011

Poem written in December of 2007. Feelings expressed to God

I live in a world
Where many people believe there is no God
But how can I act like them and pretend to believe
That you my savior do not exist
For everything you’ve done for me
The breath of life you’ve given me
I cannot be indifferent
But rather I want to lift up my voice to give you praises
And this poem 
is an expression of love. 
This is a reflection of all the things I want to say but cannot seem to find the words
This is my testimony.

I love you oh Lord
For what you’ve done, who you are
Where you found me
As well as where you’re leading me.
The devil has tried so many times
To hurt me, to lead me astray
But you always come through to guide my way.
When darkness took away my sunlight
You were the lamp onto my feet
And the light clearing my path
I am a stronger woman
Because of all the pain I have felt.
I am a wiser woman
Because of the path I’ve traveled here on earth
And it feels even better to know
That this world has nothing for me
For it is not my home
Where you are father…that’s my home
Next to you for eternity
Is where I want, desire, and need to be

Things are not the way I would like them to be.
I don’t have everything I want
But I don’t want to live according to the flesh.
‘Nor do I want to partake on the things of this world
Made simply for human pleasure
Not at all inspired by you.
I do trust and believe that I have everything I need
Because you who created me
Has and will continue to supply my every need. 
So, what is it exactly?
That got me spitting lyrics?
It’s your love. It does something to me
That I can’t quite seem to understand.
I can’t even put it in print
Because mere human words cannot explain
The love for you I’ve gained.
I am under your spell
And I got people here and there
Scratching their heads
Wondering what’s gotten into me
But can’t seem to understand
That my heart is being led back to you
My muse.

I am testifying that I was hungry 
And you fed me
Not just a physical hunger
But a hunger that runs deeper.
You have quenched my thirst for belonging
And my quest for love
I no longer yearn for what others can give me
Because you have filled up the holes and the voids within me.
I was naked and you clothed me
Not just with cotton, silk and polyester
But with your garment of righteousness
I was sick and you healed me.
Not as in I couldn’t get out of bed
But in the way you bled
On that cross…on cavalry
To save a wretched soul…to save a sinner like me.
You saved me 
You have forgiven me
And you daily walk with me
This is my testimony.
For I know that my redeemer lives!!